Men and Mental Health: The Overlaps

 November 19 is International Men’s Day, and I want to spend a moment with you, imagining a world in which your mental health and emotional security are as valued as your ability to “man up,” work it out, and get things done. 

Imagine waking up feeling a bit in need of reassurance and feeling confident enough to ask your partner, boss, or closest friend for it. Imagine dealing with a loss and turning to someone during that time of need. You would feel the freedom of letting go and gaining help in a supportive relationship instead of struggling alone. 

Men face tremendous pressure across all facets of their lives. From home and work to financial, health, and time management, the toll of stress becomes an exhausting one just trying to exist. Yet, despite this global focus shift toward the merit of mental health support, there is currently little push for awareness for men’s mental health. 

By the Numbers

Over half of all adults in Florida do not receive the mental health support they deserve. 

That statistic alone is jarring, but what if I told you, it’s still more optimistic than the reality for most men in this county? 

Men are over three times more likely to die by suicide. 

According to Mental Health America, 6 million men have had at least one bout of depression, and 3 million men experience one or more anxiety disorders. NEDA estimates an eating disorder will impact over 10 million men at some point in their lives, yet they account for less than 10% of reported eating disorder cases.

Humans are born with five core emotional needs, yet how many do men consider in their quest for fulfillment? More than that, how often are they encouraged to do so by society? 

Not often enough, if those numbers are anything to go by. 

Getting into the Grit

Men, what if I asked you to think back to the last time someone asked you how you felt about something and meant it? 

We don’t encourage men to talk about what they’re feeling, much less to celebrate their efforts to do so. Men’s suicide rates are on the rise, just as the pressures impacting their lives are because what’s not on the rise is advocacy for men to have the space to feel. 

When you experience strong emotions, it can feel suffocating to have no ability to express them. That expression, and encouragement of being able to engage in those exchanges of difficult emotions, is crucial in finding clarity. 

When was the last time you cried out in the open? 

There is no room to normalize the importance of seeking help if men are shamed into silence so deeply that they can’t even recognize their need for support. Being silenced from expressing yourself is extremely unhelpful, and feeling silenced from finding the freedom to recognize your need to express yourself can be debilitating. Emotional repression doesn’t save you from those feelings. It simply ensures they’ll creep into your quiet moments, lingering without resolution.

Be the Change

While it may feel overwhelming to consider the effort it will take to change some of these practices on a societal level, these sort of large-scale changes are not possible without foundational shifts in our families and relationships. While it may not be your job to change the way the world views men’s mental health, where in your life can you enact change? Whether it’s being willing to enter into “taboo” territory in your male friendships, teaching your sons (and daughters) that it’s okay to cry and that emotions are not bad, or sharing with a colleague how helpful you found therapy to be—each of these small interactions move the needle more than you think. And if you are struggling and need support, don’t be afraid to seek out resources yourself such as therapy. Advocating for yourself might feel hard at first, but you’re worth it, and we’re here to help.

Therapy helps 

Trust me, it just does, but knowing that doesn’t mean you’re ready to take it on. Therapy might not be the only way to begin building meaningful support for your mental health, but it’s a fantastic place to start. Therapy has changed a lot since the time of lying down on a sofa and being fixed. It’s as diverse and varied as humans are and, somewhere among the modalities and theories we can apply, there’s one that will help you feel understood and empowered.

If you’re struggling to open up, I’ll sit with you and help you to begin creating a space in your life for the understanding, validation, and helpful tools you deserve.