How to Help Your Shut-down Teen
You probably remember what it was like to be a teenager struggling with an irritable mood that swings high and low or maybe even the painful experience of being left out of the group. You’ve come a long way since then, and found your voice, but what happens when it's your child who's pulling away from their peers, shutting down, and acting entirely unlike themselves?
As a parent, watching your child withdraw into themselves can be a heartbreaking and frustrating experience. That's exactly what happened to Sarah, a mother of two from Coral Springs.
Her son Tony had always been a charming and outgoing child, but as he entered his teenage years, Sarah noticed a worrying change. Tony became increasingly withdrawn, spending hours alone in his room and showing no interest in activities he once loved. Sarah tried everything she could think of to engage her son, but nothing seemed to work. She felt helpless.
It wasn't until Sarah spoke to a therapist that she began to understand what was going on. Tony struggled with low mood symptoms and needed support to help him through this difficult time. With the help of therapy and some simple coping strategies for teens, Sarah was able to reconnect with her son and help him to overcome these challenges.
If you're a parent of a teen who is shutting down, know you're not alone. In this blog, we’re highlighting the signs and symptoms of low mood and implementing effective strategies, you can help your teen to overcome these challenges and develop the skills they need to thrive.
Symptoms of shutdown in teens
While there’s no perfect formula that will replace your instincts as a parent to recognize what your child might be going through, we’ve made a list of common symptoms that may help you. If your teen checks 3 or more of the following boxes, they might be feeling shut down or shut out.
Isolation and social withdrawal
Lack of interest in activities they previously enjoyed
Loss of motivation and energy
Changes in sleep patterns, including oversleeping or difficulty sleeping
Increased irritability or anger
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Negative thoughts and feelings of hopelessness
Changes in appetite, including overeating or undereating
Self-harm or thoughts of self-harm
Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue.
This list can be hard to read, and you may feel many emotions, namely worry for your teen. But don’t worry, we’re here to help. Let’s talk about what you can do next to begin to reconnect with your teen.
How you can encourage positive interactions with your teen
Overall, the key to pulling teens out of their room and encouraging them to speak more is to approach them with empathy and understanding. By building a strong, supportive relationship with the teen and utilizing effective communication strategies, you can help them to feel heard, understood, and empowered to make positive changes in their lives.
Identify your teen's love language
Everyone has a different way of feeling loved and appreciated, whether it's through words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, physical touch, or acts of service. Getting to know your teen's love language can give you a new way to engage with them on their level. By offering affection in a way they easily recognize, you can connect with less effort so you can have more positive interactions.
Communicate with respect and trust
It can be really enlightening to ask your teen open-ended questions about what they would like to see differently in their life or even at home. This can help them to feel respected as if their opinions are valued and trusted parts of the conversations.
By asking these questions, you can open the lines of communication to identify the issues and begin a constructive dialogue about what needs to change. Brainstorming for those changes can help your teen to feel as if they’ve got some control and say over their lives while building a positive relationship with you.
Once you’ve had those conversations, you can spend quality time acting on the desired changes, creating a new relationship from a healthy, balanced place.
Setting a weekly expectation of positive interaction is another helpful tactic. This should not focus on grades or academic performance but instead on activities the teen wants to do on the weekend or any new friend they have made or planning an upcoming outing. This can provide structure and encouragement for the teen to engage in positive activities and interactions.
Consistent consequences will help build boundaries without anger
Teens need to feel respected and trusted, but they also need to understand that there are consequences for their actions. Try focusing on consistent and relevant consequences when your teen needs them so that it’s easy to make parallels between their actions and the response.
Explaining the reasons for consequences and being consistent with them can help teens to understand that their behavior has consequences without causing unnecessary anger or conflict. It's also important to remember that consequences should not be punitive but should be designed to encourage positive behavior.
The role of therapy in helping teens overcome low mood and isolation
In addition to these strategies, it's important to remember that therapy can be a valuable tool for helping teens to overcome their struggles with low mood and isolation. Helping your teen overcome low mood symptoms to avoid further isolation and shutdown will always be a careful balance, but with support, they will find their voice and thrive.
It's important to remember that these strategies are not a one-size-fits-all solution. Each teen is unique and may respond differently to different approaches. By understanding the underlying causes of these symptoms and implementing effective strategies such as open communication, identifying your teen's love language, and using consistent consequences, you can help your teen to build stronger relationships and develop positive coping strategies.
Therapy can also play a vital role in supporting families and teens who are struggling with these issues. At Haven Family Therapy, we are here to help you create the space you need to overcome the struggle of shutdown and help your teen thrive. Call today to get started!
