Anxiety and Depression: How They Go Hand in Hand
You’ve felt it in the pit of your stomach, in the flit of your pulse, and in the heaviness of your heart. It’s all a part of being human—this disorienting ride of fluctuating emotions—and it’s normal, or is it?
Whether it’s feeling mistrustful of your own internal compass, feeling out of touch with one or both poles of your personality, or feeling like your family or partners can’t quite understand the complexity of what you feel, it can seem like you might be swallowed whole by the intensity of your emotions.
Where Depression and Anxiety Escalate
When your mind has lived in the chronic state of stress associated with anxiety for so long, it can crash into fatigue or listlessness, which can create anxiety about being tired or worthless and leave you feeling depressed, and the cycle continues. Living with co-occurring disorders feel like a constant battle between what you feel, what you need, and what you are able to do about it.
Anxiety conditions us to believe that fear or danger is near, that we aren’t enough, or that something bad is preparing itself in our lives. Depression tells us that we are helpless to conditions around us, that we aren’t worthy of healing or joy, and that we don’t have enough to survive. It’s an easy jump to see that our mind, body, and spiritual understanding of the world surround our perceptions, our relationships, and the resources we have to navigate the world that leaves us filled up and feeling capable.
While anxiety and depression may have different names, you can think of them as if they were a stereotypical dysfunctional family. They have conflicting political views, live far apart, one eats meat while the other is vegetarian, but ultimately, they share DNA that brings them together at holidays or other dutiful functions. The traits they share largely have to do with the reaction of your body, such as restlessness, agitation, worry, concentration, or social isolation. The graphic below shares more information about their associated symptoms.
Stepping Off the Rollercoaster
Here are a few tips for how to navigate the daily experience of balancing the high pulsing of anxiety with the dull lows of depression.
1. Consider the body’s purpose in using anxiety and depression as intuitive tools.
My work in individual therapy begins with helping clients construct their own narrative of their emotional and mental processes, which includes creating insight and awareness of your body’s reactions, responses, and defense tactics.
I believe that anxiety and depression are defense mechanisms that are, at their core, used to protect us. As we know, anxiety is often born out of an exaggerated response to potential danger, and depression is a largely negative generalization of our abilities and potential for love. If we can reframe our opinions of these mental health struggles, we can start to thank our minds and bodies for developing tools to signal to us when life, relationships, and responsibilities feel too overwhelming. You can become a witness to your process instead of a victim of its chaos.
2. Exercise, then relax. Or vice versa. And repeat.
A major part of individual therapy is giving yourself a fighting chance against the physical forces of your mental health. This means that moving your body to music, taking 10-minute walks, and boosting your heart rate to achieve a metabolic response are necessary to improve your sense of well-being.
Equally important is rest. Relaxation techniques, such as meditation, help us sit presently in our mind and body, ground ourselves, and assume control over what’s happening around us. Combining these practices gets us moving and slows us down (similar to how anxiety and depression work against each other) which can encourage us to find the value in these ways of functioning that work together.
3. Set small goals for yourself.
We are all about self-compassion at Haven Family Therapy. When you can give yourself grace, speak kindly to yourself, and be patient with your healing process, you can overcome the cultural idea that you can have everything you want without having to work for it, or experience wellness without sifting through your emotions to learn about your needs.
Setting small goals toward conquering challenging symptoms such as social withdrawal, worrying, or lack of quality sleep move you forward, even if only 1% more each day. Long-term improvement is made in small gestures that eventually add up to a whole day, a whole month, a whole life.
Set a goal to walk for 5 minutes a day, and then build up to 10.
Set a goal to write 3 things you are grateful for in the morning, and then build to 5.
Set a goal to compliment yourself 2 times a day, and then doing it every time you do positive things.
Set a goal each week to learn more about values and beliefs that interest you or you identify with.
Set a goal every week to research at least 1 thing you could be passionate about or want to learn.
Set a goal to call 1 friend a week to catch up, and then work towards spending time live, with friends.
Set a goal to find positive reinforcements on you tube, podcasts, or books, and then seek out a therapist to help.
Most of all, remember, you are resilient, flexible, and capable of huge strides, one step at a time.
For more information on anxiety and depression management and how individual therapy can help, please visit us at www.havenfamilytherapy.com
