Balancing Life in the New Year
Making good on New Year’s promises to yourself
You’ve got your fresh new 2024 planner, you’ve journaled about what you want to accomplish this year, and you’re ready! You’re excited about what’s ahead of you this year.
Then a voice in your head pipes up. “Are you actually going to manage to do this? You’re a procrastinator, you know. And all those decisions, on top of what you’ve already taken on? Exhausting.”
You work to tune out that critical inner voice. You’re ready, and you have been working so hard already to set yourself up for success in your career, with the kids, your commitment to the gym, and to your relationships. You’ve managed to fill every moment of each day with productive tasks. Of course you can handle the extra commitments.
And yet, when you start to fill in your planner, you’re overwhelmed. You start to worry…can you really do it? Is balancing life in the new year even possible?
Balancing life in the new year with motivation, and rest
As we step into a new year, many of us are armed with resolutions and goals, eager to make positive changes in our lives. While it's crucial to set ambitious objectives, it's equally important to strike a balance that ensures our well-being.
In the frenetic pace of modern life, it’s rest and self-care that often take a back seat. However, recognizing the significance of rest is the first step towards achieving balance. Adequate sleep, relaxation, and moments of stillness are the cornerstones of a healthy lifestyle.
At the same time, achieving balance involves more than just relaxation. The counterbalance to rest is the intentional pursuit of productivity. Instead of succumbing to a chaotic, overwhelming schedule, we can find balance by setting realistic goals and deadlines.
When you stay flexible, responding to a need to motivate yourself and also rest, you’ll balance out your life. Alongside therapy, there are many ways to find the middle ground between motivation and rest to meet a balanced life.
Motivation is a balancing act
While you may be eager to get started on your New Year’s resolutions and the plan you have mapped out for yourself, maintaining motivation for the long haul can be a challenge, especially once the novelty of your fresh start has worn off. Finding balance in the new year requires believing in yourself, drowning out the inner critic who tries to tear you down, and focusing your energy on what matters most.
Self-belief and self-compassion
Self-belief is critical to success. Starting out with a mindset that you can accomplish what you put your mind to is a key part of being willing to get started. If you find yourself lacking in self-belief, look at the bigger picture in your life. You’ve come far and made it through so much. You’re able to do this too!
When self-belief is a struggle, an unwelcome companion often lurks within—the inner critic. This self-sabotaging voice can cast doubt, breed insecurity, and hinder progress. To kick this negative companion to the curb, first, we've got to get where it's coming from—usually a mix of fearing failure and societal pressure to be able to “do it all.” If this sounds familiar, it’s time to bring in the big guns: self-compassion. Sprinkle in positive affirmations, a bit of mindfulness, and maybe a dash of meditation to drown out that inner critic's noise. Shift that mindset to growth mode, treating setbacks like stepping stones, and suddenly, the inner critic's grip starts to loosen.
Focusing on what matters
To live a balanced life, you must also conclude that perhaps you cannot do it all, or certainly not all at once. The gradual process of building a balanced life starts with turning your attention where it’s needed most. Identify the most critical activities and allocate time and energy accordingly. This prevents burnout and ensures that your energy is directed towards the things in your life that align with overarching goals.
Similarly, rather than spreading yourself too thin across numerous social commitments, focus on the quality of interactions. Meaningful connections enrich our lives, and by investing time in relationships that matter, we can find a more fulfilling balance.
Rest is a key ingredient to productivity
It can be challenging to rest, when you’re pumped up, and ready to achieve the goals you’ve set for yourself in the new year. That said, rest is critical to include in your life. Rest gives you a break from the push of productivity, preventing burnout, and allows your mind to enter modes that reduce stress, encourage mental well-being, and even allow you to think and act more effectively.
Rest is a powerful tool
Even when we rest, our brains are still working. When you rest, you give your mind a chance to work through everything encountered throughout the day. In the background, when we rest, our brain is teasing out solutions to our problems, examining information we've gained, and helping us make decisions. This background brainwork can only happen when REM resting and is an important part of processing information.
Getting enough sleep also helps with your perception and problem-solving skills. There’s research to show that proper REM sleep—either from a full night's sleep or even from a power nap—improves your ability to notice details, use your memory, and solve problems. Prioritizing sleep by setting a bedtime, unplugging from devices, and creating an oasis in your bedroom can all expand your ability to work by ensuring your ability to rest.
Rest doesn’t have to look like sitting or lying down; mental rest in motion can also be helpful. Walking, especially outdoors, boosts your brain's creativity. Taking a walk can increase your problem-solving ability. The exercise also helps regulate your nervous system, which calms tension in your body and lets your mind engage with what you aim to get done. This break from active “productivity” actually boosts your abilities, even though it’s a rest time.
Set boundaries around your time
Set boundaries around your time, both for yourself and for others. Saying no to added commitments when you know you need to prioritize rest is not a failure, it's ensuring you remain functional. And not letting yourself trample over your rest time is just as important!
Rest prevents the dreaded burnout from happening. Burnout can come from taking on too many commitments or not caring for yourself when your mental and physical health is under stress, so your overall work load becomes too heavy. Burnout looks like feeling exhausted, physically and emotionally. You can feel irritable, anxious, empty, powerless, or hopeless and lose motivation to continue.
When you rest regularly, you stave off burnout and keep yourself in the workflow. You’ll accomplish more long-term, helping you balance life in the new year. Rest enables you to meet your goals and provides balance so your workload doesn’t topple you over.
Rest is a requirement, not a reward
For so many of us, a little voice can pipe up when we consider resting. “Have you done enough? Have you earned rest? Couldn’t you be doing more, or are you just lazy?”
When we treat rest as only a reward and not an integral part of existing, doing, and achieving, we lose out on all the benefits of rest for rest’s sake. But on top of that loss, we also engage in negative self-talk in a way that can harm mental health and reduce our ability to seek opportunities.
Negative self-talk increases your risk of anxiety, depression, OCD, and PTSD. It also leads you to believe that you shouldn’t try and that it's hopeless. You undermine yourself when you listen to the little voice calling you lazy or undeserving.
When you notice negative self-talk around rest, the best way out of that spiral is to find a different, positive thought to focus on.
“I’m so lazy; I should be doing more” can be countered by considering, “I work very hard, and rest will help me reset so I don’t burn out.”
“I don’t deserve to rest” can be turned on its head by pointing out, “Rest is a part of living, not a reward. There is no question of deserving, just a question of needing, and I need rest.”
Balancing life in the new year with therapy
At Haven Family Therapy, we know you hold the strength and sense to find balance in the new year. We also understand that between this hustle culture and the fatigue of emotional dysregulation, it can be hard to find that balance all on your own.
Know that a balancing act is just that: action, an active process that moves back and forth between prioritizing rest and prioritizing work toward your new year’s goals. That action can also include the added support of therapy for a balanced life. If you’re feeling motivated in 2024 and want someone to walk alongside you to find balance as you align your motivation and prioritize rest, connect with me today. I am happy to help you meet your goals in a way that offers you balance and satisfaction.
